Why mental health is as important as physical health

Some of you may know these people. They have a good steady job, good friends, good health, have everything figured out, have a master's degree from a well known university, always cheerful.. But, behind the curtain this person have issues, he always feels blue and unhappy. The reason he's unhappy because he always feel pressured. Everywhere they go. From their family, friends, partners, boss, etc. But nobody notice and he never tells anybody. A model whose picture is in every cover, smiles in every picture, but unhappy because of the stress on keeping a "good body".  A popular athlete at school, every guy wants to be him every girl wants to be with him who have trouble even getting out of bed every morning. Or maybe you are that person. 

These days, people's awareness towards mental health is increasing. Although, in some places, it is still somewhat taboo and seeing a therapist means you're a crazy person. 

How many times have you ever feel depressed and people tell you to just "get over it" or "you're overreacting, don't be such a drama queen." oh, or my personal favorite "you just need to pray, ask god for guidance". While those are good advice, it is not that simple. Mental health is not something you just "get over". It is a serious issue that people struggle with every single day. 

Mental health affects how we think, feel, and responds to stress. It affects our social and daily life. So when you are not mentally in a good place, it can affect your life. And when it is start to bother you, go see a therapist. It is not a sin to seek help from a therapist. The stigma that seeing a therapist means you're crazy is ridiculous. I actually heard parents of a bipolar adolescence denying that their kid have a mental problem because they don't want the embarrassment of seeing a therapist.  I have people asking me "but, I have such small problems, will a therapist even bother listening to my problems?". The answer is, yes, they will. Sometimes the small stuff will build up with if we don't deal with it. So that is why, seeking help is important, because you are important.

When your body is sick, you don't just sit and do nothing, right? You go see a doctor, you take a medicine, you drink warm tea. Whatever it is so you can be fit again. Then, you should do the same thing to your mental health. Because, it is just as important. Research shows with good mental health, you can even have healthier body. Some illness like high blood pressure is related to stress. 

That is why getting help is a necessity. Maybe first you can talk to someone, a friend, family, your partner. Sometimes just talking will help put the weight of your shoulder. When it keeps going on and starts to affect your life, get a professional help. Not talking about your problems don't make your problems go away, it will keep building up. After talking, maybe it will help if you take a break and do something that you love to do. Pick up a hobby, go someplace new. People cope in different ways and that is completely okay.

As for everybody, please be aware of the people around you. When they need help, listen to them. Sometimes what they need is to be listened. They need support and they need to know that it will be okay. To be completely honest with you, I myself have not been in a good place lately, and I have been lucky enough to have people I can trust enough to talk about my issues (cheers to them, they know who they are). I was having a rough day, so I told a friend that I need to talk. Her respond immediately was asking me to meet her, the next day we spent the day together. I think that is powerful. I am lucky enough I studied psychology so I understand what's going on. And that is why I feel like writing this. People should be aware that being healthy inside and out is important. 

I will end it with this; it is okay not to be okay, it is okay to feel like you're at the your lowest point of your life. It will get better, it always does :)

Love,

A

Things I learned from my trip to Japan

In the beginning of this month, I got the opportunity to travel to Japan. It is such a dream come true I almost cried when I got there. I was there for a week and there are several things that I learned about the country that I would like to share. I don't know if other people will experience the same thing, but from the cities I came to (Tokyo-Kyoto-Osaka), this is what I learned

1. It is what like I imagined. It is like in the comics, manga, anime, movies, etc. The streets, the people, everything.
2. The trains will be confusing but you'll get used to it. There are so many lanes, for someone who is not good with directions like me it will be easy to get to the wrong train lol. Thankfully my friend whom I went there with is a good navigator (cheers, Ci! wkwk). Later I learned that it is owned by several companies. Unlike, for example, MRT in Singapore.
3. The people there likes to have matching outfits which when sometimes cute, it can be confusing haha. When I was in Universal Studios, can't count how many people wore yellow shirts and a denim overall dressed up as minions haha. They are also collectors, when I was at Disney, some people bought a whole bunch of Duffy Bear stuff (AND WHO THE HELL IS DUFFY AND WHY IS HE ALL OVER DISNEY).8
4. The people are nice, but it seems like always in a hustle so I got bumped quite often.
5. Everything is futuristic, even the public restrooms lol. Took a minute for me to even figure out how to flush. (Is this a bit TMI, sorry)
6. There is one thing that makes me wonder tho, for a country as advanced as Japan, I'm surprised trash bins is not in  every corner. I have to keep my trash until I find one.
7. The food, omg the food. It's amazing. And sometimes cute too!! I mean, pokemon bento....come onnnnn!!!
8. So.many.cute.stuff when I get into stores I want to squeal.

Anyways, those are some things that I learned. I had an amazing time in Japan and definitely will come back. Next time will be longer.

Quarter Life Crisis

They say you won't have it all figure out by now

They say everything takes time and in the end it will come into place.

But at the same time they expect you to have everything together.

It is not always easy

When you know you have to be hopeful

But at the same time there are voices that telling you otherwise

I may seem okay

But deep inside I am broken

The pain physical

Literally having a heart ache

Hand shaking and hard to breath.

But then what can you do except face it

Surviving everyday

With hope

Because what else do you have?

As broken as you think you are

Remember that it's okay not to be okay

Hang in there

Because everything is going to be better

And it will finally make sense

The Architecture of Love: A review

"People say that Paris is the city of love, but for me, New York deserves the title more. It's impossible not to fall in love with the city like it's almost impossible not to fall in love in the city." - Raia, The Architecture of Love. 

I just finished reading The Architecture of Love, the newest book by Ika Natassa. I am such fans of her works for years and now I want to write about what I think about this one. The Architecture of Love started as a Twitter pollstory where Ika post this story on Twitter and her followers help decide where the story go next. Of course I am also following the story and wait for next chapters each week. I think this is a great medium to write a story and interact with the readers. I enjoy the pollstory so much that I was sad that it ended, especially how it ended. But then, she announced that the book is going to come out very soon. I am excited as always. If Raia said that there's no feeling like when a writer holding their new published book, as a reader, there is also no greater feeling like holding you favorite writer's new book. 

So I finally got the chance to get the book. As soon as I started reading it, I couldn't put it down. Which is silly because I read 1/3 of the book on twitter, but the feeling is different when I was reading the physical copy. There is so many emotions going on with me while reading. It also makes me fall in love with New York and makes me want to visit there again. The only thing that kind of bother me tho, the ending. I mean yes, it's a nice ending, but I think Ika can put it in better ways. The ending only got me like "That's it?" But, other then that, I don't know how else to put this except that it is a very sweet story. Raia and River teaches us that there is always room for new love, there is hope, that it's okay to get your heartbroken, and that love comes in mysterious ways. ((SPOILER ALERTS!!!!!)) I also love how the Risjad brothers made an appearance! 

Overall, this is a recommended book and a good read. As always Ika Natassa did an awesome job! Kudos! I am definitely waiting for her next masterpiece.  

I'd give it an 8/10

Love,
A

Dear future husband

Hello everyone! It's 00:10 AM, and as usual, I browse online, videos, social media, etc. And I came across this video:

And it is one of the most  videos I've seen in a long time, that I feel the need to make my own version of letter to my future daughter. I did a post to my future kids a while ago, and it inspired me to write something else. I feel kind of melancholy and sensitive lately, so I thought, let's put this into words and write something to my future husband. Without further due, here goes
========================

Dear Future Husband,

We may have met before, we may have cross paths that we didn't know of, you may have been in my life before. But right now in this moment how I am glad that we found each other.
I may not be the most perfect color in a box of crayons, but I will try to brighten up your days when it feels dark.
I have my quirks and falls, but I am glad I found someone who can accept that.
I am broken, and you put all my pieces together.
I have hurt before, and what I have with you makes everything worth it.
I have learnt from my past, and now I am ready to start a new chapter, and face the future with you, together.

We will have our fights, but at the end of the day I am sure we will make it right.
I'm not expecting you to bring me flowers on my birthdays, or remember every anniversary, knowing I'm going to have more birthdays and anniversaries with you is what I want.
I am not the easiest to deal with, but I will try my hardest to be the best wife and mother to our future kids.

When I say I'm in this together with you, trust me, I mean it with all my heart.
We are going to be a team, remember that.
Remember that I will always be there for you, supporting you at what you do, worrying about you.

Let's be teammates, partner, best friends, enemies, for the rest of our lives.
Let's see the world, go on adventures, and watch disney movies together.

How I am glad I am yours,
I love you with all I am

Allegra

Imperfections

When someone asked me what do I see in you, I always answer with "I don't know, really. I just fall".

Until a few days ago, a friend insisted "Well, there must be something", and I thought "yea maybe there is". And so I kept thinking, it's like an itch in my brain because I know I have it I just can't really put it into words yet. 

Maybe the easy way to put it is this;

I love you because you are broken, and I am too. 

You are lost, and so am I.

I see myself in you, which doesn't make any sense, but it's the truth.

So I thought, maybe we can be broken and lost together.

Because isn't that what love is all about? 

It's 2 years ago today, that I told you how I feel.

You said I can and I should find a better person.

And I thought, nope, not gonna happen, at least for now.

Because I am THAT broken and lost, and I needed you.

I still do. 

It's 2 years ago today, that I told you how I feel.

My feelings have not change since the day I first saw you walk in that door.

So today, 2 years later after I told you how I feel, 

I want to say

It's okay to be broken and lost, because you got me.

Maybe one day you'll see that. 

Your imperfections is perfect to me.

Happy valentine's day, I love you.

A

Apparently this year has just started

So....it's been a while, huh?
I am sorry for the last couple of months until the new year came (Happy 2016, ya'll!) I've been crazed with all sort of stuff. Finally, I get a chance to just chill, read a book, play piano and guitar, and post this first post of this year so yes I am glad!

Since the last post I posted, I've been:

1. Finished my internship program and report, the score is also not bad. The internship program was such an eye opener. To the real world, the working world. I met some awesome people. Cheers to my intern buddies, Mba Alfra, Kak Nadia, Kak Devina, Kak Shirin and other people who I met! I miss everyone.
2. Spent the holidays in Bali with the whole family which was great, I needed the break.
3. Going crazy over my thesis that I finally submitted and now waiting for the scheduling for the defense for it. That thing really consumed me (I brought my laptop to that holiday and did some of it in Bali, pfft!). But I hung in there and finished it. I am nervous as hell  for the next step but hopefully it will go well! I am still nervous every time I have to do public speaking, and this is probably going to be one of the most important presentation of my life? So, just wish me luck.
4. Learning to do make-up properly.
5. Listening to Justin Bieber's new album
6.Tricked by an online shop jackass who took my money. (Haven't deal with it until now, I don't care, he'll rot in fucking hell. What goes around comes around)

It was such a ride, last year! I've learnt a lot, met some new people, challenged myself, and all kinds of stuff. One think for sure tho, I've grown, a lot. It's scary how you can change in a year, huh?

One other thing that I realized, I didn't read much last year because I don't have the time, and when I do I'm so drained I can't even finish a page. I am not happy about it. I don't even want to know how many books I finished last because I think I can count it with one hand. That is not acceptable!
This year, I have to finish more books. In fact, I am starting one right now, it's Schizo by Nic Sheff, about a teenager dealing with schizophrenia, ya'll should check it out.I think I might finish it tonight (maybe). I also have other books that is on my list that I hope I can finish all this year.

I also hope to accomplish some stuff this year. I hope after the defense of my thesis I can graduate and receive my degree. That is like my main goal the beginning of this year. I also want to focus on myself after that, a lot I want to do and it scares me a little bit. I want to be financially independent, travel more, and experience more. I also want to be able to deal with my anxieties and worries (with professional help, maybe? My parents won't understand tho.), be physically and mentally healthy, get a masters degree scholarship overseas, and some other stuff. Wow a lot to do. I hope I can achieve all of it one by one, step by step, and have the strength to get there. I know everybody have to start from the bottom, so that's where I'll start.

Apparently this year has just started, and It's gonna be one hell of a year!:) So, hang in there everybody, enjoy the ride ahead and I hope you can achieve everything you want to achieve this year!

Allegra