My wreck mind

You know what annoys me so much?
My brain.
It keep giving me these voices and it won't shut up. like really
it's like the voices is shouting at me.
you know , when your brain is just keep giving you non stop thoughts?
and it keeping me awake also. sometimes even the thoughts are nonsense
and pretty often it makes me cry
ah , i don;t know
i just wish my thoughts can leave me alone sometimes
or i can just shut the brain off for a while then just turn it back when i need it , you know?
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh
i'm sooooo mad right now.

maybe these thoughts is one of the reason i'm starting blog again. so yeah.
what i do when my mind strikes again , i just grab my sketch book
i'm no artist , but there's something about drawing that shut my mind.
like , it's just peaceful all of the sudden.
or , i blog. like right now.

aaaaaaaaaaarghhh my mind is like , a wreck.
or am i just growing up? i don't know
all i know is i miss how i used to be all positive and careless about everything and what people say
now is like everything is driving me crazy
that's the think about me tho , i always, ALWAYS overthink stuff
i never used to be like that. wonder where that girl go. i would like that girl back.
now i feel like , i'm a freakin monster. everything is making me mad.
maybe i'm mad about something bigger , but the littlest thing can makes me turn into a female hulk or something....pffttt
you know the feeling when u just lost it and blow up and you just want to scream your lungs out and bang and throw everything and just yell or whatever it is you do to release your anger? well imagine having to feel like that everyday
i mean , i'm supposed to be a psychologist,right? i'm supposed to be able to have more control about this kind of stuff, but nobody's perfect , you know? so,forgive me.
here's another thing about me tho , i keep stuff to myself and maybe that's why i can easily blow up. like a time bomb.
anyway , this is exhausting.very.
and i know this is not healthy , and i have a problem obviously.
so yeah , i don't know.
i just hope this will get better in time.

sorry for the emotional post. good to have something to let this out to.

Loves,
Allegra